Senior Care giving

When Parents Become Children

Many families face the task of caring for aging parents. The decision, whether assumed or delegated, requires introspection, sacrifice, patience and love.

Impact of Care

The nature of care giving necessitates help from a wide array of concerned persons. Care giving will affect a son or daughter’s immediate family, including their children.  The responsibility of care giving should be fairly distributed among all family members.

Families should also prepare for the financial impact of care giving. If an aging parent has more than one child, it might help to consult with all siblings. Caregivers should formalize both financial and ‘in person’ care giving responsibilities.  

Ways to Provide Care

Caregivers provide extended care services for another person who would not normally require direct care. Although care giving is normally defined in terms of aging parents and their children, care-giving situations are also found following sudden physical trauma or incapacitating mental illness.

Adult children are natural caregivers as the next of kin.  Some children choose to opt out of this duty when past relationships have been strained or nonexistent.  For children who are able and willing to provide care, there are four basic options:

1. Traditional nursing homes
2. Residential communities
3. In home care provided by family
4. In home care provided by 'live in' or 'on call' professionals

No form of care is superior to another. This decision and its ramifications must complement an individual’s emotional, financial, and physical preparedness.

Selecting care

Caregivers must recognize the needs of the care recipient and determine how needs will be met.  When the care recipient is unable to express needs and desires, the care provider should assume responsibility and seek assistance from medical personnel.    

To create a meaningful and respectful caregiver/care patient relationship, both parties should tackle these details:

1. What is the mental health of the care recipient?
2. What is the mental health of the caregiver?
3. What is the physical health of care patient?
4. What is the physical health of the caregiver?
5. What are the specific duties of the caregiver?
6. What level of care can the caregiver afford?
7. Will the caregiver utilize outside assistance (i.e. from other siblings, government resources, etc)?
8. Does the care patient have specific medical needs and ailments? (I.e. does the care patient suffer from chronic illness, etc.?)

Honest and thoughtful responses to the aforementioned queries will lay the foundation for a healthy and informed caregiver/care patient relationship. 

Preparing to care

Consultation with a financial advisor will determine how much money will fund adequate care.  Financial planning addresses regulated medical costs, emergency forecasting, food costs, home renovations (if applicable), etc.

Caregivers must also consult with relationship partners/spouses and children.  Care giving profoundly alters intimate relationships. Thus, it is important for all involved parties to be as informed as is possible. Counseling sessions are useful before and during the routine of care giving.  Psychologists, for example, enable caregivers to cope with the stresses of this role.

Care recipients should accept help as needed, identify needs, and accept the boundaries of the caregiver. Caregivers should establish boundaries and exhibit patience, kindness and respect towards the care patient. Caregivers should also maintain relationships with professional health care providers.

Living as a Caregiver

Serving as a caregiver is a uniquely rewarding life role that has the potential to deepen familial bonds. Consult with medical professionals and personal support networks. Consider the advice of professional organizations such as the National Alliance for Care giving, the American Academy of Family Physicians and the Administration on Aging. No matter what decision a family makes, it is a critical and life-altering issue.